Shaykh ‘Abdullāh al-Bukhārī:
He is asking: "How should one behave with their relatives and the laymen that have been living in a country under the rule of the disbelievers for many years, and they are ignorant of the religion? In other words, how should I deal with my people?"
It seems he wants to know: How should he deal with his family... Ya‘nī, are they Muslims or disbelievers? In any case, giving da‘wah to the people and relatives, if they are from the people of Islam but are ignorant of the religion, then you must teach them if you are qualified to teach. You must gradually teach them what you know about the correct matters of religion, bit by bit, little by little. This is their right upon you, as the verse says: {And warn your tribe (O Muhammad ﷺ) of near kindred.} [26:214]. They are the most deserving of these teachings, this advice, and this education. Treat them with good character; do not speak to them about truthfulness and related matters while you are lying and dealing with deceit, tricks, and schemes. Do not forbid a behavior while doing the same yourself, for it would be a great shame upon you if you did!
Sometimes giving da‘wah through actions is more effective than through words. Gradually, bit by bit. Take them by the hand and be patient with them.
A man said to Imām Aḥmad, may Allāh have mercy on him, as narrated in the Masā'il of Ibn Hāni': "I have a mother who does not pray. Should I abandon her?" His mother did not pray, so he asked, "Should I abandon her?" Meaning: Should I leave her? Imām Aḥmad replied, "Invite her; perhaps she will eventually pray." Meaning: continue inviting (calling) her, as she might eventually pray. He could have said, "Leave her, forget about it, just leave her!" Right? But the verse says: {But if they (both) strive with you to make you join in worship with Me others that of which you have no knowledge..}, i.e. if they are disbelievers, {then obey them not; but behave with them in the world kindly..} [31:15]. If they are Muslims, teach them. If they are disbelievers, invite them as well in the best way possible, with wisdom and good advice.
And beware of contradictions! Some of these relatives will scrutinize you under a "microscope," as they say, or a magnifying glass. They will observe how you behave, what you say, and how you act. I'm not telling you to be fake and to pretend; I'm not telling you to be fake and to pretend! What I am saying is: discipline yourself and nurture it according to the Sunnah that you have learned. Adhere to it truly and sincerely!
And care for them, invite them, and supplicate for them in their absence, even if they are disbelievers, whether they are parents, siblings, maternal uncles, or paternal uncles. Du‘ā' (supplication) is a great affair! Continue giving them da‘wah, and perhaps through you, Allāh will rectify their affairs. May Allāh guide everyone to what pleases Him. May peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Muhammad, his family, and his companions.
Translation: Yasin ibn Jamal