In The Name of Allaah, The Most Merciful, The Bestower of Mercy.
The Messenger [peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him] said, “A woman is married for four (reasons/things); her wealth, her family status, her beauty and her religion. So you should take possession of the one with Religion, otherwise you will be a loser”. [Saheeh Al-Bukhaari 5090]
Some women have started complaining about the impossible beauty standards that burden women – cheekbones, slim, angular faces with big features, fat-freezing cosmetic procedure etc. The women who blindly follow this path are regarded beautiful and attractive, regardless whether they are righteous or not; rather as long as they are considered more attractive based on what a group of women exploiters consider to be the beauty standard, they are given an advantage – Pretty Privilege!!! Indeed, our scholars have spoken about this affair and warned against it. Imaam Muhammad Ibn Saaleh Al-Uthaymeen [may Allaah have mercy upon him] said, “We find that at present our enemies are focused on women issues. [They focus] on adorning women, intermingling them and make them share the same occupations with men, until it becomes as if the people are donkeys having no other concern except for their stomachs and canal desires, and Allaah’s Refuge is sought! Women are portrayed as if they are mere images, that is: pictures (which) people attached no importance to except that which is connected to the woman’s figure (outward appearance). See how they have decorated and beautified her! See how they have brought about beautifications for her and presented her in a desirable condition, in relation to (her) hair, skin, legs, arms, face and everything else; until they make it the most important issue for the woman, like a picture made out of plastic. They neither present to her the importance of establishing Ibaadah nor bearing children”. (1)
Al-Allaamah Khaleel Al-Harraas [may Allaah have mercy upon him] stated in his Sharh of An-Nooniyyah of Imaam Ibnul Qayyim [may Allaah have mercy upon him]: After Imaam Ibnul Qayyim described the beauty and perfection of the women of Paradise so that one is drawn towards them, he warned against being deceived by the evil women of this worldly life-those who are deprived of every excellent trait. They are neither perfect in their physical appearances nor do they possess good actionsescribed the beauty and perfection of the women of Paradise so that one is drawn towards them, he warned against being deceived by the evil women of this worldly life-those who are deprived of every excellent trait. They are neither perfect in their physical appearances nor do they possess good actions. How can one be deceived by a woman who possesses ugly manners and is untrustworthy! How can one be deceived by a woman who neither fulfills her obligations nor does she possess patience! How can one be deceived by a woman who is neither contented nor is she obedient and humble [i.e. not obedient to Allaah in that which Allaah has commanded her to fulfil in marriage], and her deeds are ugly! Rather she is a female shaytaan disguised in the image of a human, so she deceives the despicable and depraved people who desire her because they are similar to her and are ready to obey her.
As for the people of goodness and virtue, she neither wants nor desires them because there are no similarities between her and them. She is deprived of everything that directs her towards good and prevents her from evil. She neither possesses the correct way of life ordained by Allaah and a sound moral intellect nor does she possess good manners and fear of Allaah. She does not possess natural beauty, rather her beauty is a falsified one that emanates from cosmetics. And when she leaves that beautification and embellishment the defects on her becomes apparent and she is deprived of everything that makes a person desirous of her. She is characterized with betrayal-neither grateful towards good companionship nor does she preserve and fulfill its rights.
Her beauty is a thin shell and underneath it are defects and ugly affairs. Her beauty resembles a fake coin plated with gold or silver, which one may consider to be a real gold or silver coin; but this counterfeit cannot be circulated amongst the money changers even though many people are deceived by it. (2)
Imaam Dhahabee [may Allaah have mercy upon him] stated that Salamah Bin Alqamah relates from Ibn Seereen (may Allaah have mercy upon him] who said, “Imraan Ibn Hattaan married a khaarijiyyah (a female khaarijite) and said, ‘I will bring her back’ (i.e. make her leave her misguidance). Ibn Seereen said, ‘However, she converted him to her way'”. (3)
As for who to give your daughter to, then indeed it is said, “Marry your daughter to a man who fears Allah. He will be kind if he loves her and will not oppress her when he is angry with her”. (4)
Imaam Muhammad Ibn Saaleh Al-Uthaymeen [may Allaah have mercy upon him] said, “If a person says: What will make a man love his wife and vice versa? We say: Allaah has clarified this in His statement: [وَعَاشِرُوهُنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ – And live with them honourably]. [Soorah An-Nisaa’ Aayah 19]
If every person lives with his wife honourably and vice versa, then love, a strong bond and a happy married life will be established. (5)
Allaah [The Exalted] said: [فَإِن كَرِهۡتُمُوهُنَّ فَعَسَىٰٓ أَن تَكۡرَهُواْ شَيۡـًٔ۬ا وَيَجۡعَلَ ٱللَّهُ فِيهِ خَيۡرً۬ا ڪَثِيرً۬ا – If you dislike them (i.e. your wives due to something ypu see in them)), it may be that you dislike a thing and Allah brings through it a great deal of good]. [Surah An-Nisaa. Verse 19]
Imaam Ibnul Qayyim [may Allaah have mercy upon him] said: The person may dislike a woman due to a trait of hers, whilst there is a great deal of goodness in keeping her and he does not know it. He may love a woman due to a trait from her traits, whilst in keeping her there is much evil and he does not know it. The human being is as he has been described by his Creator; ”Verily, he (man) was unjust (to himself) and ignorant (of its results)’’ [Ahzaab: Verse 72]
Therefore, it is not befitting that he places his inclination, love, aversion and hatred as a measure for that which harms or benefits him, rather the measure is that which Allaah has selected for him of commandments and prohibitions. The most beneficial of affairs for him without exception is obedience to His Lord outwardly and inwardly [i.e. praiseworthy hidden deeds of the heart and apparent actions of the limbs], and the most harmful of affairs for him without exception is disobedience to his Lord outwardly and inwardly [i.e. evil hidden deeds of the heart and apparent actions of the limbs]. If he embarks upon sincere obedience and servitude to Him, then all that he comes across of that which he hates is better for him; and if he withdraws from obedience and servitude to Allaah [The Most High], then all that is in what he loves is bad for him. Therefore, whoever has a sound knowledge regarding his Lord and an understanding of His Names and Attributes, he knows with certainty that there are [affairs of advantage, great benefits, welfare etc] and useful (things) in those hated things that afflicts him and [in those] trials that befall him, which he cannot innumerate by way of his knowledge and contemplation; rather the [affairs of advantage, great benefits and welfare] for the slave are greater in that which he hates than in what he loves. The universally beneficial things for the souls are found in what they hate, just as the universally harmful things for the souls and the causes for their destruction are in what they love. (6)
The Characteristics of the Pious Wife- By Shaikh Abdur-Razzaaq Al-Badr [may Allaah preserve him]: https://salaficentre.com/2011/08/20/the-characteristics-of-the-pious-wife-by-shaikh-abdur-razzaaq/
Hearts Protected Through Servitude to Allaah Alone- [A Safeguard Against Celebrity Infatuation and Attachment to Influencers, Socialites, Ideologues etc]
Source: https://salaficentre.com/2021/09/27/pretty-privilege-absolute-nonsense/